There are many code-books about what you should do in bed, and several people have gone to lengths to write books and make films about how to do it right. But the key to having a good sexual experience is avoiding the pitfalls and not making some silly mistakes which can often cause problems.
We have made a list of things that you should avoid doing while you are getting intimate with your partner:
#1. Don’t be shy about your fantasies
Sexuality counselors and psychiatrists say that it is perfectly okay to express your fantasies and roleplay ideas. However, keep in mind that whatever you are suggesting is something that is safe and your partner is comfortable with it, do not push or insist if they don’t want to do it. Always respect their boundaries and choices.
Check out these 4 tips to have mind-blowing sex with your partner tonight.
#2. Don’t assume you know what you’re doing
Every person has different preferences and they enjoy different things, so you should know that it will take some time to figure out what they like and don’t like. Take your time to understand, communicate, ask questions, and pay attention while getting intimate – it will help you understand what you need to do to have a more fulfilling sex life.
#3. Don’t fake it
If you think your partner isn’t doing a great job, then it is not advisable to pretend that you enjoyed it. Instead, Sex counselors suggest that you should hold an honest and open conversation about what’s working and what’s not. But always remember to be compassionate and avoid a critical tone at all cost.
#4. Don’t pressure your partner into it
There is more to intimacy besides sex, and if your partner isn’t feeling like having sex then don’t push them. Counselors advise many other ways to be intimate, such as cuddling, giving massages, taking a shower together, etc. Important thing to consider is that affectionate touches do more for your relationship than unenthusiastic sex.
#6. Don’t bring the outside world to bed
While it’s important to discuss the issues of your day with your partner, but experts say that you should do so before going to bed. Once you have had dinner and shared with each other how your day went, then only you should move to the bed.
Remember to keep your cellphone away because you getting up to check notifications and social media is a mood-killer. Your bedroom should be a space of comfort and relaxation, where no outside stress should come in. This will help you have a good time together, and eventually catch better sleep.
Also read: 10 Signs your relationship is on track.
#7. Don’t criticize and point fingers
Nobody is perfect and all of us come with our flaws and shortcomings. It is important to understand that you should never point out the fact that your partner is getting overweight or their certain body parts do not look perfect. Intimacy comes with acceptance and body positivity, and the whole point of getting intimate with someone is to feel good about yourself – not being made feel guilty about your body issues.
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#8. Don’t mention your ex, ever. Just don’t.
During a romantic date, or while you are in bed together – one of the worst things you can do is to mention your ex. And it’s not right even if all you do is to criticize your ex or boast about how good you were in the sack with your exes, doing so in bed your partner is the sure-shot way to kill the mood.
#9. Don’t ignore the pain
Overconsumption of pornography has given most people the wrong idea that pain during sex is normal, or even desirable. Nothing could be further from truth. Doctors say that pain during sex can be a sign of infections, hormonal shifts, or lack of lubrication or an inappropriate positioning, even psychological issues. If you feel pain then don’t hesitate to ask your partner to stop. If your partner is feeling pain then stop immediately and ask how you can help them feel better.
#10. Don’t be obsessed with size or the mechanics
Like Monica Geller says to Chandler in Friends: “Chandler! It happens to lots of guys! You-you-you were probably tired, you had a lot of champagne, don’t worry about it!”
And that’s bang-on true! It happens to every man more or less at some point in his life. And there are many reasons such as stress, being tired or drunk, self-esteem issues, etc. Focusing too much or complaining about his problems will make the situation worse and it can even turn into a chronic problem.
Featured Image Courtesy: Thrillist