One of the hardest things to do in a relationship is recovering from being cheated upon. It hurts when your partner cheats on you, be it an accident or premeditated things. Healing from an affair emotionally in a relationship is no piece of cake. Someone very rightly said that trust is like a delicate glass piece. Once broken it can never go back to being the same pristine self again.
Well, I’m here to tell you that it is indeed possible. Yes, you can build trust again, but it takes patience and a whole lot of love. But it is very much possible.
The Trust Revival Method is a foolproof way to heal from a painful affair in your relationship. Developed by Drs. John and Julie Gottman, this approach takes into effect three parts, Atonement, Attunement, Attachment.
With infidelity and cheating comes broken trust and no relationship can be based on broken trust. To truly heal from an affair, building trust is pivotal. So here’s what you need to know when trying to heal a broken relationship due to infidelity or cheating.
1. Seek counseling
When trying to heal your relationship emotionally after an affair, it’s best to seek counseling or therapy or enroll in programs like the Trust Revival Method. Why you ask? Seeking counselling gets you through each of the infidelity recovery stages thoroughly and comfortably. Don’t be ashamed to seek professional help, when it comes to mending the relationship of a lifetime, all will be worth it.
2. Be open to hearing each other’s story
The next major step to healing truly from an affair is by being true and honest with each other. You may the one who cheated or the one who got cheated on, to truly emerge healed from counseling, you must be open to hearing each other’s side of the story. Empathy is important when you seek to understand you will cease to judge and drive a rift between each other.
3. Don’t play the blame game
The next step on the road to fully recovering from an affair is by accepting each other for who both of you are. No masks, no games, just bare imperfect people. While it is healthy to tell each other what hurt y’all, blaming, name-calling and abuse will only shut your partner down and push them further away from you. Given the fact that both of you have sought out counseling shows that both are willing to put your relationship ahead of your disagreements and hurts. The cheater is already guilty, and the one who got cheated is trying to forgive. Playing the blame game only regresses this progress towards anger and an unrepairable rift between you two.
4. Forgiveness is everything, whether you go into therapy or not
When it comes to forgiving someone who hurt you so deeply it can be quite challenging. But hey, try seeing it this way, they must be going to tremendous amounts of pain for sabotaging your relationship with them. If you guys are in therapy together that is an indication of the fact that they are indeed sorry and want to make changes. They want to atone and change themselves so they can save the relationship they have with you.
Featured image courtesy: HuffPost