Talking about love marriages to parents is like a tight rope walk. Some parents take as their responsibility of finding the right match for their kids and may not be very open to their kids having a love marriage. Just like they have made all the major decisions of your life, like which school to put you in, what values to impart, or what career choice is best for you, they want to make the decision of choosing the ‘right partner’ for you.
They have certain expectations in mind like caste, religion, financial status, etc, on the basis of which they select a life partner for you. They also fear, out of too much care and concern, that their kids might end up with a wrong person. Whatever the person you choose, they will always their qualms about him or her.
This is why some people end up in arrange marriage so that they don’t disappoint their parents. But if you have taken the responsibility of choosing a life partner from your conventional parents, you are going to have a tough time to convince your parent for marriage.
How To Convince Parents For Marriage
Obviously, you have the whole right to choose a life partner for yourself who shares the same wavelength as you. But you also don’t want to be disrespectful and disappoint your parents
Here’s what you can do to make your parents agree for love marriage.
#1 Be sure about your relationship
Before you break the news to your family, make sure that your relationship is ready for the next step i.e. marriage. If you are confident about your partner, talk to them first so that you guys are on the same page. When you are not sure about your relationship, then how can you convince your parents?
#2 Share your views about marriage
Treat the topic of marriage like that time when you wanted to tell them that you wanted to be an artist and not engineer. If you want your parents to agree for love marriage, then tell them which all qualities you seek in your life partner before you even pop the news to them. It is possible that your opinion may not match and some arguments take place but, at least, it will help both the sides arrive on an amicable consensus.
#3 Listen to your parents perspective
Don’t be a selfish prick and show I-will-di-whatever-I-want-attitude to your parents. If you make them hear about your opinions and views, listen to their’s too. Be assertive to what they have to say about love marriages even if they don’t agree with you. Opinions change or can be changed with time. At least, you will know what they think about the idea of a love marriage.
#4 Tell them you have someone in life
Once you are sure about your relationship, you can start dropping subtle hints that you already have someone in life. This way, it will not be a total shocker when you directly approach them for marriage. However, it can be difficult if your family is rigid. Tread with caution.
#5 Show them you are mature
Be it any part of the world, it is hard to gain trust and confidence of your parents. But if you act responsible and mature in the family matters and take an initiative when required, you can win their trust easily. They will think of you as a dependable and rational person and may even trust you with choosing a life partner for yourself.
#6 Make your parents see the best in your partner
Just like you convince your clients in the board room meetings, you will have to convince your parents why the choice you made is best for you. Highlight the good qualities of your partner, especially the one that will impress your parents. You can even make a presentation if you like. LOL!
#7 Take help from friends and relatives
If you have at least one example of love marriage in your family or friend circle, then you may leverage it to make your argument strong. When your parents are not too convinced about the idea of an open marriage, show them the real-life examples to make them more confident.
Once you manage to convince your parents for marriage, you and your partner can set up a meeting for both the families to sit down and discuss it further. Help them resolve any doubts they have in mind about your relationship, family background, cultural values, etc. In the end, don’t give up!