“How dare you like her picture!”,
“I can’t believe you’re still texting him!”,
“Umm, why are you face timing your ex??”
Let’s face it, we’ve all been here at some point. The dating scene has taken a huge turn for good. The digital dating days are here and we don’t have a clue how to handle it!
If there was a show of hands towards all the relationships broken or ended due to social media, we might see a human hand-ocean! That is exactly how POWERFUL social media is.
Why and how social media affects you
Think of it this way. In the digital world, your profile picture is your appearance, your statuses are your announcements, your friends are your community and your wallpaper or home page is your personality.
These are the subtle likenings to real life that make social media so addictive. Not to forget the constant praise/acceptance addiction that we as a human race face.
The truth is social media was intended to be this way.
I conducted in-depth interviews with men and women, ranging from ages 28-73, that are active social media users and found that:
- 60% of people using social media reported that it has impacted their self-esteem in a negative way
- 50% reported social media having negative effects on their relationship
- 80% reported that is easier to deceive others through their social posting
-Behavioral scientist, Clarissa Silva, thriveglobal.com
One of the most common things that happen while on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter is the endless scroll. An addiction that rewards you with a feeling similar to a shot of cocaine each time you scroll.
The indefinite scrolling was invented by Aza Raskin in 2006. This is what he has to say about it now.
If you don’t give your brain time to catch up with your impulses, you just keep scrolling.It’s as if they’re taking behavioural cocaine and just sprinkling it all over your interface and that’s the thing that keeps you like coming back and back and back
-Aza Reskin to BBC
Apparently, he never intended for his innovation to be used this way, Raskin seemed apologetic and almost sorry that it is being used this way.
Read more: Social media beats tobacco in addiction
Social media’s effect on your relationships
These are the effects of social media on relationships
- Highly sexualized content to keep users hooked and make it easier to cheat/be tempted
- Societal pressure to look good and have it all, leading to shallow looks centered relationships
- Emotional cheating is just a text away
- Jealousy and competition inducing feed
- Circulation of propaganda regarding how love relationships should be
- Inculcating herd mentality
We lose ourselves somewhere along the way when too immersed in social media. It’s a sad but daunting reality today.
How to build a healthy relationship with social media
- Think about what you feel about something before accepting it inside your mind.
- Avoid comparing yourself to photoshopped pictures of men/women on borrowed yachts.
- Choose your feed WISELY!
- Be communicative with your partner, tell them what online behavior of theirs hurts you. If they truly love you they won’t repeat it.
- Be present with each other when together, switch off or mute your phones when in your lover’s company.
In the end, social media is a double-edged sword. A boon against enemies and fatal if leaned on. Take care peeps!
Featured image courtesy: peppershock.com
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